Page 3:- The Lady behind the Tramp

Okay Sweeties, Yis had your funny anecdotes last month so now it’s time to get down to the serious shit. This month I want to try to explain some of my motivations behind wanting to be a Drag Queen.

It’s a question I am often asked and one I rarely seem to have a clear-cut answer for.
First and foremost, naturally, it’s the buzz of live performance. Hearing that greasepaint roar (or at least applaud politely) for you. The adrenaline rush is incredible. And tied in with that is the creative aspect. That of taking a song and doing something
unconventional with it, putting your own spin on it and presenting your very own interpretation of someone else’s lyrics/music. The glitter and glamour of the
makeup, the eyelashes and of course the stiletto heels. 

This is the side of Drag performance that allows you to put on a new face, an alter ego, to be whatever the fuck you’ve always wanted to be. I can be an angel or a devil on stage and get away with
portraying myself in ways that I’d never get away with anywhere else.

This is a mask of course, a façade. As with most mediums of performance drag can be something to hide one’s own insecurities behind. Up on stage I can be that nasty little slut that lives
at my core. DialEmma is my sleazy side. I didn’t intend her to be that way but she has a mind of her own. Originally she was meant to be quite a classy bird (once she got past the gawky Goth stage). In my
head I wanted her to be based on the classic 1940’s glamorous film star idyll but she has steadfastly refused to become that character. She’s more like a sex worker these days, or so I’m told. ? But
ultimately she’s a tart with a heart who still has plenty of growing up to do as a character.

The other main motivation is my gender struggle. Being a Drag artist gives me the opportunity to express my ab-normative gender freely through performance. It let’s me play with different gender expressions – from the early days of donning a gentleman’s pinstripe suit and a Trilby to the teeniest of silver minidresses and
an auburn bob like DialEmma wears now. I have always felt more like a Drag Queen than a “real woman” and since appearing on the gay scene four years ago that side of me has simply become more and more apparent. Initially I came out as a lesbian. I thought
that was what I was. But over recent months it has become increasingly clear to me that I am not a lesbian at all. For what is a lesbian? She is a female homosexual right? A woman loving woman. Homosexuality is all about sameness; that’s why it’s homo. But since
my gender identity has evolved in tandem to my sexual identity I find I can no longer justifiably claim female gender or lesbianism. IE I am not a woman and therefore cannot be a lesbian.

(My sexual attraction is aimed toward female masculinity in the form of Butches who may or may not lay claim to female gender. Some see themselves as transgendered*, some are simply very butch women and some see Butch as a third gender all it’s own. Just
the way I see FeMMe as a fourth gender. Personally I prefer the TG or “other” gendered sort over a merely butch lesbian.)

The difference, by the way, is one I see as genetic not psychological. I haven’t been for a DNA analysis; but if I did go for one I wouldn’t be remotely surprised if the doctors found a third X chromosome in
my genetic structure (making me XXX), in much the same way large numbers of children are born intersexed (usually with an XXY chromosomal pattern).
So I’m FeMMe by gender and transsensual** by sexuality. I’m coming out for the second time in four years.
And where does drag come into all this? Well on the stage playing DialEmma’s character is the closest I’ve been able to come to expressing my inner core creatively. Words and language are too limited. On stage every gesture and pose gets me closer to the
real me. Through being a caricature of myself on stage I am approaching some home truths about the real me… from the opposite direction.

Well I hope that explains a wee bit about DialEmma’s background but since she hasn’t said very much this month I’ll simply sign off,

Lady Em. XXX


*Transgendered: Anyone who does not fit into a clear
cut male or female gender identity. Includes: Pre and
post-operative transsexuals, Intersexed individuals,
Hermaphrodites and some Transvestites.
**Transsensual: Any individual being sexually
attracted to people who are Transgendered.