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‘The
most hugest significant post-culturally kinky event of the year’ was the
slogan on the flyer of the 7th Alternative Miss Ireland and who can disagree?
This event was huge!! Only the pride march comes close to matching it’s scale
in both numbers and significance. The
premise of the show is quite obvious; contestants (open to men, women and
animals, although only one dog has entered in its history) are judged in the
tradition of day-wear, swim-wear and evening-wear.
The
7th Alternative Miss Ireland started shortly after 8.00 in Dublin’s
Olympia theatre, we were greeted at the door, not only by the usual bouncers
avec shirt and bow tie but an impressive number of drag acts and performers
selling programmes and raffle tickets. Inside, decided not to join the very long
queue for the cloakroom and joined the very long queue for the bar instead. One
Heineken later I was shocked to find the cloak room had reached capacity and I
was left carrying my winter woollies around with me all night. (theres a lesson
to be learnt there somewhere)
Coat
tied around my waist, camera in one hand, notebook in the other, Bic Biro in my
mouth and a plastic pint of Heineken magically balancing between my ankles, I
took place in the crowd and waited for the curtain to Rise. The house lights
went down, the intro to ‘Can you feel it’ echoed around the Olympia and
there on stage with a full backing band (drums, guitars) was Miss Panti, our
host for tonight, singing live too, and quiet well at that, proving that there
is no end to this ladies talent.
After
the opening number Panti stepped into the spotlight and introduced us to the
group of celebrity judges, made up of celebs such as Brendan O’Carroll,
Brendan Courtney and Conor Horgan, rumours before the event had it that Anna
Nolan of Big Brother fame may be amongst the panel.
In
any competition its always hardest to go first, now this didn’t seem to affect
the chances of ‘Tina Leggs Tantrum’, who as you probably know by now, won
the event. (Sorry for ruining the surprise if you didn’t know this already).
Tina belted out the classic Dolly Parton Tune ‘9 to 5’, helped by a pair of
inflatable boobs, Tina won over the crowd and was a tough act to follow. Luckily
Renttecca from Sunny California was up to the task and introduced herself with
the aid of a very inventive sound bite, mixing vocals and rock tunes together.
Next
on stage was ‘Miss Lillette Shannon Banks’ – who currently is the
Alternative Miss Limerick, Shannon Banks definitely had a good few fans in the
audience, all I could hear behind me were the screeching tones of ‘Limerick
you’re a lady’, unfortunately the act was slightly overshadowed by Miss
B.V.M – which stands for Miss Blessed Virgin Mary – probably one of the most
original acts of the night. Miss BVM (obviously inspired my Sinead O’Connor)
was dressed in the clothes of the immaculate conception and somehow managed to
make a blue veil look stylish with the song, ‘Like a virgin’, I expect to
see blue veils on the racks of BT2 fairly soon.
Contestant
number 5 was the freakishly double jointed girl from Essex, Miss Shyanne, so
pretty I had my doubts as to whether this really were a drag queen or whether
someone had decided to cheat by entering their sister into the contest. Keeping
temperatures high in the beauty department was Chloe Shagalot. If the judges
were awarding points for figure, this girl would have won hands down. I imagine
many an evening is spent in the gym and many a bowl of Kellogg’s All Bran are
had for breakfast, dinner and tea to squeeze into those outfits.
Next
to walk the glamour mile was ‘Johnny Silvino’, who may be best described as
a drag king. Johnny was swarmed with a fan base of scantly clad girls wherever
he went. Modelled on James Dean and with a walk that Chris Ewebank would kill
for, Johnny strutted his way across the stage to the sounds of ‘Bad to the
bone’ closely followed by his devoted admirers.
Next
a young girl wandered on stage, who with the backing of the ‘He-Man’ theme
tune, went behind a curtain to reveal He-Man himself Revvlon, last years runner
up, Revvlon is the largest drag queen ever to grace the shores of Ireland and as
with last year came up with a top class performance that had the audience
jumping in the aisles.
Contestant
number 9 was Glenda Locked – she’s fond of the bottle but still managed to
make it out on stage standing in a shopping trolley. Glenda was followed by Miss
Defy, a windup, clockwork, ballerina type character.
Last
contestant of the night was Miss Adel Asian Angel – an act from the
Philippines.
The
next event is always one to raise a smile, the swimwear competition, however we
were first treated to a mini interval by Shirley Temple Bar – Winner of the
contest back in 1997. Shirley, aided by a troop of dancers – jingled her way
thru ‘Wake up Boo’ by the Boo Radleys, Shirley proved just why she won the
contest so many years ago, the dances were fast and furious and the audience was
lapping it up. I imagine had Shirley only been entering this year she would have
won the title hands down – thanks to this number.
Part
2 of this review coming in 2 days
it
will include
Swimwear
Vada
Bon Reve
Interval
Evening
Wear Contest
Miss
Siobhan Broadway
The
Prize Ceremony
The
aftershow party
Full
Photo Diary of the event in Camera
Spy
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