Problem 1 : March 2001

Claire Replies......

"hiya tim....well, a lot things u have written are ones that i have not heard for the first time....

ya sound like ya have a lot whizzing around your head..so i'll try and tell ya what i think...

so chill out take a load off and come to my table...

where do i begin tim? there's loads i wanna say to ya...

i could waffle to you for days, but I wouldn't subject u to my ranting(after all telly eireann deux pay me to do that and these guys don't!!!)

the whole thing is worrying u to bits...first off ya gotta find a balance....being gay is an important part

of who u are...but honey it ain't all of who u are...don't let it dominate ur existance. i gather

from reading ur letter that u seem very isolated. you say none of ur friends know and u don't seem to

indicate that u have gay mates....

i think this is the root of ur problem. if u say u have many good friends, why not put the feelers out with one of them and test the water(if ur that worried they won't understand), and see if u can get comfortable with talking to one of them...afterall, if ur friends are true friends they will stand by u and

people can sometimes surprise u. but only do this if ur comfortable with it.

secondly, why not get out there and try and meet some people away from the usual places associated with the

scene. the scene can be quite shitty, but it ain't the end all and be all of gay life. there's a place

called outhouse, which is a kinda gay resource centre that has a coffe shop that u can pop into and meet people in a very relaxed atmosphere. they even have special nights there, like men only night and so

on....believe me, it's a good laugh and there are some wonderful people working there. u can even get info there about other places there that might suit u.

There are some social groups ( i know ya might be thinking they gather around a candle and chant mantras and stuff!), which are a great way of building friendships and they are surprisingly helpful. 

One of the tea girls in telly eireann went to outyouth and found it brilliant and met loads of people who are now good mates of hers there...

so basically, try and get out there and make some gay mates if telling ur existing ones ain't an option... forget about running off to america. it's all very well wishing to head off into the sunset and have a fabulous life in the sun....but you'll just be bringing yourself and your problems away with, in a foreign country with no friends or family to turn to...

i hope that what i've written is of some help to ya tim.... ya sound like a lovely guy and there are some lovely people out there for ya to meet....don't be afraid......

bon chance my love! xxxxxx

Outhouse

Gay Switchboard Dublin

Men of the North

Outdoors Eire

Offer your own advice here

Submit Your Problems

Over the coming months Claire will do her best to sort out the problems of the nation. If you have a problem of any nature then let Claire know. Be it Love Life trouble, fashion advice, hair trouble, Claire will give you a helping hand. The agony line address is Problems@Gay-Ireland.com 

We are looking for people who may be able to help us provide more content and services, so that we may continue to provide a resource packed, with news, information and fun.  If you think you can help in any way, please get in touch - hello@gay-ireland.com

contact us