|
Gay Share or Straight
Mates
City living is an expensive business
that leaves most of us facing the prospect of a houseshare. You may be lucky
enough to have friends in a similar situation, or else find yourself looking
through the ads trying to make sense of the abbreviations, and putting your
trust in their often dubious descriptions. You may know exactly where you want
to live - chances are it will be convenient for work and going out, but there`s
another consideration - should you go for a gay flatshare or take your chances
in a straight household.
The Gay Way
"About a year ago I told my parents [that I was gay], and I moved into town
pretty much at the same time. I could never afford anywhere on my own, and there
were plenty of gay houseshares around, so it made sense," explains Jon an
outgoing 21-year old from Manchester. "Finding somewhere wasn`t as easy as
I`d thought. The first one I went to see was pretty dreadful, and one guy tried
it on, so I just got out quick, but then I came here and met James. It’s been
great - we go out and have a right laugh, and he`s pretty easy to live
with."
For some, friendship in a gay flatshare can go that bit further, as Mark
confirms. "I`d been living here about three months when I started going out
with Chris, who lives upstairs. We still keep our own rooms, although he usually
ends up sleeping here, but it’s still good to have somewhere of your own.
Sharing a house you find out a lot about someone, things you wouldn`t usually
know. It’s nothing like you see on `Friends`. We don`t always get on with each
other, and going out with Chris has made things difficult sometimes, because we
seem to end up siding against the Simon and Pete, but most of the time we get on
well - there`s a good atmosphere, and we look out for each other."
For some there is a downside to a gay houseshare, as David testifies. "The
noise can be bad sometimes - the guys come in at three or four in the morning,
even in the week. It can get a bit funny when one of us brings someone back -
you never quite know who you`ll find in the kitchen. And it can get a bit
incestuous at times, which doesn`t make for a great home life."
Straight Laced
Just because you`re gay doesn`t mean that you can`t survive in a `straight`
houseshare - certainly in a rural area, that may be all that`s available.
"I`ve lived with the same group of girls for nearly two years and they are
like a family. They all know I`m gay, and it’s never been a problem. We talk
about it, and I think they`re all pretty curious, so it’s certainly never made
things difficult", says Joanne. "I live with people that I get on
with, and I don`t think that my sexuality has ever been issue - I`ve always been
completely open with them."
But it’s not always that easy - many are left feeling isolated and even
paranoid living in a straight household. Jay lived in a houseshare for a year
while at University, before moving into the halls of residence, "I spent
most of the time in my room - I would go down to the kitchen when I knew no one
else was home, and keep to myself as much as possible. I brought guys back, but
I was always paranoid about being `found out`. I`m not sure how they would have
taken it if I`d told them, but the thought of telling five very straight guys
that I`m gay was just too much - I just didn`t have the confidence to do
it."
Coming out in an otherwise straight household isn`t always easy, however well
you know you flatmates – it’s much like coming out to your parents when you
are living at home - you never know quite how they will react. But then a gay
flatshare can be equally as problematic, although you may face slightly
different problems. Actually, the main issue you`ll face in any house or
flatshare is bound to be privacy - get that right and you can`t go far wrong.
|
