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It was September 13, 1997 and I was halfway across the Atlantic Ocean on my way
to live in Dublin,Ireland. I was gazing out the window and murmurred "Please
God, don't let this be a mistake."
I left New York City after 14 years of a pretty exciting life. I left behind
some of the nicest and most generous friends I had ever known. I abandoned a
very good paying (but stressful)job with a Wall Street law firm. I had one of
the coziest and least expensive apartments dead in the center of lively
Manhattan. The only thing I was not leaving behind was a boyfriend as I was very
single.
I had never, ever set foot in The Republic of Ireland. Neither had any of my
immediate family. My great-grandfather left Co. Cork in 1880 at the age of 20
and moved to America. He never returned to Ireland. I was the first one back
in 117 years.
When I decided that I needed a change after 14 years in NYC, I chose Ireland
because my French is shite and I knew that I did not want to live in England.
So, it was Dublin by default. I made a feeble attempt at investigating my roots,
but it was not all that important to me. Once here, I was more interested in
what it was like to be Irish.
Its now three years later and I think I have a very good idea of what it means
to be Irish. It is definately NOT the same as telling someone you are
Irish-American. The attachments to those two geneological definitions are vastly
different. The former embraces and accepts a culture for all its beauty and
roughness. The latter to often mistakes a cultural representation as the
embodiment of its soul.
I never expected Dublin to be like New York City and was glad to discover that
it is not. I did not want the Dubliners to be like New Yorkers and they most
DEFINATELY are not! However, growing up as an Irish-American lad, we were led to
believe that Ireland is very much like America. I think the most valuable lesson
I have learned in three years is that Ireland is not like America at all. I
think it is a disservice to promote it as such. The culture and history of
Ireland is strong (and interesting) enough and well able to stand on its own
without a bump up from "across the pond". The real traditions of the two
countries are dissimilar and each deserve their own due respect.
Life and lifestyles are different...especially in the gay community. I did not
grow up in an environment where homosexuality was punishable by a jail term.
Many of my Irish contemporaries did. The sense of real gay liberation is only
beginning to blossom in Ireland and I think that is what makes these days so
special. It is inspiring to watch it unfold. I now have a re-newed appreciation
for the struggle and all the trying times that come with it. On its own, that
has made the trip over here worthwhile.
So now, after three years, I am planning to return to New York City. I will be
leaving behind one of the coziest and least expensive apartments in City Centre.
I will be abandoning very good paying (but stressful) job with an Irish company.
I will part from some of the sweetest and most generous folks it has been my
pleasure to know. The only thing I am not leaving behind is a boyfriend as I am
very single.
As I contemplate my return home, I gaze out my window sometimes and murmur
"Please God, don't let this be a mistake."
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